Therapy for Adjustment Issues/Life Transitions
I provide therapy for adjustment issues to adults aged 21-44 located in Liverpool, Clay, Baldwinsville, and near Syracuse, NY.
Life transitions are defined as times of significant change in your life.
They frequently mark the beginning of something new or the end of something familiar. Transitions can trigger a variety of different emotions including: anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, hopelessness, and grief. You may also experience a loss of control which can feel unsettling.
Adjustment issues (or stress response issues) arise when you have difficulty coping with or adjusting to a particular source of stress, such as a major life change or transition.
Therapy for adjustment issues is important because if left untreated, adjustment issues can morph into bigger mental health problems such as anxiety disorders or major depression.
In my practice, I help people navigate a variety of different types of life transitions. Please read on to learn more about the common kinds of adjustment issues I can help with.
Relationship changes are one of the most common reasons people find their way into my office for therapy. Whether you’re experiencing the end of a long-term romantic relationship, an estrangement from a family member, or a friendship breakup, the ending of any close relationship is always difficult.
Breakups are painful.
Were you feeling blindsided when your partner decided to end your relationship? You didn’t see this coming and you’re completely heartbroken. If there was infidelity you may question your worth and wonder how you’ll ever trust anyone again. Or maybe you knew deep down that the relationship needed to end, but having it end doesn’t make it hurt any less.
There’s now a blank space in your day where you used to talk and spend time together that you don’t know how to fill. Everything reminds you of them. You feel anxious about running into mutual friends or seeing them out with their new partner. You wonder if your heart will ever stop hurting. You wonder if you’ll ever find love again.
Blood is not always thicker.
Maybe you’ve had a falling out with your sibling and now family gatherings are full of arguing or just plain awkward. You push your own feelings and needs aside to “keep the peace”, but find your own mental health is suffering by doing so. Or maybe you’ve decided to go “no contact” with a parent who never seems to respect your boundaries, but other family members guilt you by saying toxic things like: “but it’s your father!”, or “you only have one mother!”, or the very helpful: “family is family!”.
Trying to navigate the holidays and special occasions now bring about feelings of anger and sadness about family dynamics. It’s confusing when you love this person but also hate how they treat you. It’s not fair. This isn’t how family is “supposed” to be.
Friendships aren’t always forever.
Friends are the family we choose, and usually there is some sort of common ground or bonding element that we share with them. The pain related to the deterioration of a longstanding friendship is something we just don’t acknowledge or talk about enough. A friendship “breakup” can feel just as devastating as the ending of a romantic relationship or a family relationship.
Maybe there was a big misunderstanding and now things are just weird. Or maybe an argument got really heated and the two of you just never talked again. Seeing them on social media having fun with their other friends now brings tears to your eyes as you grieve the loss of your friendship. Or perhaps it was more of a gradual drifting apart over the years as your lives naturally went in different directions. Either way, losing a friend is extremely painful and something we were never taught how to deal with.
Life after college is hard.
You got your diploma and you’re supposed to be entering an exciting new chapter in life, right? In reality, you find yourself struggling to adjust to this stressful and strange new time. You feel overwhelmed trying to balance the demands of your job and the responsibilities of your personal life. You also have the fun added task of now needing to pay back your student loans. It feels like you never have enough time or energy to get everything done, let alone find time for friends or hobbies.
How are you supposed to find time to do all the things?!
On top of that, your job isn’t feeling as fulfilling as you had hoped and now you’re questioning if you should have even gone into this field. Being a student felt easy but working is hard. You thought you’d feel smarter. You thought you’d feel happier.
You and your friends all made a pact to stay in contact after graduating but you’re slowly realizing things just aren’t going to be the same. Everyone is busy with their new lives and you feel so disconnected. You realize you may need to start making new friends but the idea of that feels overwhelming. How do you even make friends as an adult?
Dating feels weird and complicated.
You used to be able to meet new people in class or at a random Thursday night party. Now you have to make a solid effort to put on real pants and go out to meet new people. It doesn’t help that your online dating experience has been a dumpster fire and makes you want to just stay home with your dog for the rest of your life. Ugh.
It feels like you’re having a quarter-life crisis. You wonder, is this what life is supposed to be like?
Moving is tough.
Have you recently moved to a new city or state and found yourself feeling a bit lost? Moving can be an especially stressful adjustment since it commonly involves the disruption of many other aspects of life too. Everything is new and different. If you’ve started a new job at the same time as a big move, you now have two big life changes to adjust to at the same time. If you’ve moved far away from your family or friends you may now feel lonely and disconnected socially.
It can feel isolating when you don’t know anyone and nothing in your environment is familiar. Needing to find all new “go to” places and rebuild your social circle feels overwhelming. Finding all new doctors and schools for the kids is a large task. Your sense of routine and normalcy is disrupted and it can be difficult to find your footing during this time.
Job changes are stressful.
Did you just recently get promoted, take on more responsibility at work, or land your dream job but now find yourself more stressed out and anxious than ever? This job change was supposed to feel exciting but in reality the transition has been difficult, and you find yourself missing the days when you felt confident in yourself and your work.
Perhaps you were recently laid off and are now transitioning into a new company where you feel like you’re starting all over again. You have unresolved feelings of anger and resentment towards your old company and feel anxious about being let go again. Or maybe you’re just not vibing with your new group of colleagues and miss your old co-workers. You wonder if things will ever get better.
Marriage and babies can be stressful too.
If the new life event you’re experiencing is something generally considered positive, such as getting married or having a baby, you might even feel guilt and shame around feeling anxious or sad during this time. You might judge yourself for not feeling as happy as you feel you “should” be, and worried about other people finding out and judging you too.
Getting married can be a happy time but it can also be very stressful trying to plan a wedding and figure out how to merge two lives together (plus dealing with in-laws!). Learning to communicate, compromise, and set healthy boundaries with extended family as a couple can be very challenging.
Having a baby is a blessing but at the same time it can turn your world upside down. Everything about your old life has changed to center around this tiny human being. It feels like you can never do enough and someone always needs something from you. Trying to balance working while caring for your family seems like a constant juggling task that you can never win. When you finally decide to take a moment for yourself you feel guilty the entire time.
Mom guilt is real.
You feel overjoyed to have your baby but at the same time grieve the loss of parts of your old life. It’s hard to acknowledge this and you definitely don’t share this feeling with anyone. You feel guilty and shameful for not loving every second of motherhood. Trying to reconcile all of these opposing feelings is confusing.
You wonder: Am I normal? Do other moms feel this way?
Yes, you are normal. Yes, other moms feel this way too! You can still be a great mom, love your baby, and still feel overwhelmed and sad at times. You are allowed to have all of your feelings.
Here’s how I can help.
We all experience difficult times in life and it’s normal to need support. We aren’t born knowing how to deal with change, we have to learn. The good news is humans are always capable of learning new things!
I can give you support and help you weather the storm during this tough time. I can help you learn to become more resilient in the face of stressors. I can help you develop healthier perspectives that better serve you, and coping tools that you can continue to use along your journey in life.
Therapy can help treat adjustment issues by:
- Allowing for a safe space to identify and process your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Feeling heard and understood by an objective and non-judgemental person is validating and therapeutic.
- Helping you organize and make sense of your thoughts and feelings, which in turn can help you to understand yourself better and feel less overwhelmed by your feelings.
- Identifying, challenging, and reframing thought patterns contributing to feelings of anxiety or depression (as in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
- Developing effective coping and problem-solving skills. I tend to teach a lot of communication skills, boundary-setting skills, organizational skills, social skills, emotional self-regulation skills, and mindfulness or grounding techniques in therapy.
- Learning better ways to manage stress by implementing stress management techniques and distress tolerance skills.
- Identifying your strengths, and utilizing them to help you through difficult situations.
- Developing self-care routines.
- Building resilience and increasing your self-confidence to handle challenging situations in the future.